In 2020 a young woman who was a singer and songwriter, who went by the name Nightbirde, appeared on America's Got Talent. While she was a beautiful, talented and brave woman, what she said is what won the hearts of millions of people around the world. Faced with very little chance to live with her cancer diagnosis, a husband that left her during her sickness, she was still noted to be so optimistic. Her response was this:

"You can't wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy."

Wow! Just wow. When I heard that, it struck a cord within me. I am a cancer survivor but I was one of the "lucky ones". In 2000 my papsmear came back abnormal. Within 6 months I had a partial hysterectomy and when pathology returned, it was cancer. But I had clear margins. I did not have to go through the horrendous treatment with chemotherapy. I did however have to be followed closely for 5 years and I still have to be careful not to miss my yearly exam. Cancer can come back. But even going through a diagnosis with the "C" word, I moved on and never looked back at it. I overcame not being able to have more children or the stigma that at that time comes from cervical cancer and what causes it. 

But RA.....

In the beginning of my diagnosis, I thought of selling our two-story house (our dream home) and selling my motorcycle because I thought my future meant being crippled and handicapped. Riding had been one of my favorite past times but was beginning to get hard due to having no strength in my hands and fighting fatigue.

In August of 2021 we traveled to South Dakota from NC and I rode my motorcycle back from South Dakota. My husband and I took 4 days and we took our time, stopping when it was necessary. When we got back to our home, my husband looked at me and said "You did it! You freaking did it. You rode your bike all of the way back from South Dakota!". He was ecstatic. I knew then he had been worried about me. Though he never complains when I am having a bad day, his life has had to adjust too. 

Living with RA up until then was not making plans because you didn't know what kind of day you would be having once the event got there. After that accomplishment I knew what Nightbirde meant. If you wait for life to get easy, no matter what obstacle has been thrown in your way, before you decide to be happy, you will miss out on all of life's adventures. Maybe the adventure will be tougher than it used to be. That's ok. I am determined to still get out there and experience it. I've decided to be happy.